Doan Courant

The semi-whenever newsletter for one of the many Doan Families.

Monday, January 07, 2008

To do in 2008

I am going to accomplish the following tasks in the year 2008:

Set a new land-speed record.
Genetically engineer a new breed of dog.
Destroy reality TV.
Become the dictator of a Latin American country.
Eat a whole cow (not necessary the same cow, but every edible cow part; and not necessarily in one sitting).
Defeat Matt Lauer in an arm-wresting match.
Free Tibet.
Write an opera.
Listen to an opera (not the one I write).
Domesticate a tapir.
Live an entire week impersonating Robert Mitchum.
Travel to every nation with the letter "Z" in its name.
Buy a Roomba.
Annotate Finnegan's Wake.
Farm more.
Discover a yet undiscovered method of skinning a cat.

I will let you know at the end of the year which of these I did not do.

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