Things I have never done

These are some things I have never done, and I plan on never doing.

Sneezed after 6 pm.
Slept more than 10 straight hours.
Said the word "archetype".
Eaten a salamander.
Walked on my hands.
Worn polyester paints.
Drank V-8.
Dreamed in stereo.
Danced with the devil in the pale moonlight.
Touched a mink.
Slept in on a leather couch.
Ridden backwards on a horse.
Kissed a donkey.
Watched more than 5 minutes of American Idol.
Invaded a foreign country.
Barricaded a door.
Composed a limerick.
Been given a horse.
Purchased a Jawbreaker.
Skated on a sidewalk.
Sat on a tack.
Kissed the Blarney Stone.
Won the lottery.
Mocked a monkey.
Drank egg nog.
Eaten a Russet potato.
Shaved my arm pit.
Climbed a flag pole.
Recited a Portuguese poem.
Played in a World Cup game.
Painted a barn.
Slept in a barn.
Dodged a question.
Fought a panda.
Whistled Dixie.
Heard a fat lady sing.
Seen two birds in a bush.
Fished in the ocean.
Called a kettle black.
Caught a cold.
Humored anyone.
Sat one a fence.
Scuttled a ship.

Thank you, and good day.