I have to give credit where credit is due. This joke comes from Garrison Keller.
Two penguins are sitting on an ice floe.
The first says, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo."
The second says, "What makes you think I am not?"
I am glad to hear that the soccer team won second place at state. I am sorry to hear about it three weeks late, but that is another thing. It seems the game was close. Congratulations guys. Also, congratulations to the guys who made the first and second All-State teams. I am glad that you all had a good season.
Basketball season is upon us, and I am completely thrilled. I get to "supervise" the basketball team at my work. I don't know if I will be doing much if any coaching. At least I will be close to the world's greatest sport. I am excited to hear Mr. P. is coaching the girl's team. I know he will do a fantastic job, yea, even a phoenominal job. I hope you seniors, and you know who you are (At least, I hope you know who you are. You are seniors, after all.), take charge of them team. You ladies need to be the leaders, in listening to your coach, in staying focused on your school work, in working hard in practice, and in playing with all your might from whistle to whistle. You ladies are going to have a great season. It is there for the picking. You just have to dedicate yourself to grabbing it.
The same goes for you guys. Whatever disappointments you have had in the past are in the past. You have new opportunities before you. As of right now, you haven't lost a game. You guys need to focus, listen, and invest. Coach Weston knows what he is talking about. If you are willing to learn, he is willing to work with you. You guys are going to have a great season. Give your all all the time.
I should say something about school. I hear that is important as well. Remember, if you don't study hard in school, you will be stuck in Iraq. That is not right. If you don't study hard in school, you will be an ignorant fool, whose only hope in life is to "make it big" on some stupid reality show. Trust me, you don't want that lot.
Another joke presumably from Mr. Keller:
A man once owned a horse that was very smart. He taught the horse Algebra, Geometry, Geography, History, Government, and Biology. He couldn't teach the horse any Philosophy, though. I guess you can't put Descartes before the horse.
Keep your head's up.
That is all.